Holiday Blues + Update

Ughhh I don't know what to make of the holidays- every year I swing back and forth between spirit and the blues. In truth, I love the idea of the holidays- but I can't STAND all of the drama that comes along with them... which it does every year. Right now I'm the blues mode. I'm alone at home, no one asked me to join them in holiday festivities today, despite the fact that I know people are shopping, baking, spending time with relatives, ect. To top it off, I just found out that my Aunt Veronica, who lives in Idaho and I only get to see every 1.5-2 years, flew in last night. I had no idea she was coming. Ignored and left out of the loop, as usual. I'm in a "poor-me" mindset right now and I know it... doesn't make me feel much better admitting it either... but hopefully, it'll fizzle out soon enough like it usually does :/

I can't believe it's been more than a month since I've updated. Where did time go exactly? And how is this year almost over? Truth be told, I'm kind of ready for a new year... for a new start and chance. I feel like I really blew this year :( Mike and I made it our goal for 2010 to be "Our Year," and while Mike lived up to the expectation, graduated, got a job, ect. I did not. Oh sure, we found a house and moved in together and that has been a success, but that's really the only end of the deal I've held up :/ I did not graduate, I got a good job and lost it 5 months later, had to drop out of school... and embarrassed/shamed myself by proving to everyone that I can't be responsible with alcohol. Lovely. I understand everyone makes mistakes and stuff, and yeah I'm willing to admit that I made a huge mistake and now I'm working at digging myself out of this hole, but for some reason I think I'll feel a bit better getting to start a new year. This year was the year that wasn't, and it should have been. Maybe I can make it up in 2011?

So on Monday is my 30 days sobriety. Woo-hoo. I'll get a sobriety chip at the meeting.

I guess there isn't much else to say right now. I need to take pictures of our house to post, especially since it's decked out for Christmas :) Emma loves the Christmas tree, and even moreso, the presents. She's ripped the bows off of several of them :/

Okay, well, I'll post again when I'm in a slightly better mood and don't complain the whole post ;)