WHEW!

Sorry, I couldn't think of a better title- I just spent the better part of the last hour trying to find some flair for my blog- namely the music player. Oh well, tis there now.

Sooo... I'm trying not to go crazy. The end of the semester is always wild, but it's been even crazier this time around, for a combination of reasons- it's my last truly rough semester, it's Mike's last semester, I got sick, Mike competed in the poker tournament... end of the semester is always hard eating wise, due to the stress. I'm managing, but that's not to say it's easy either.

Monday night was Mike's senior bass recital- his final recital. He'd been working towards this for at least the past two months. It truly paid off. Just before the performance began, while I waited anxiously in my third row seat, I saw the light on my phone blinking; it was a bbm message from Mike. It said, "Although there are other people here tonight, I'm playing only for you." When I saw him walk onto the stage, and he began to play "Amazing Grace," tears filled my eyes and my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. I sat there in awe, stunned, breathless, and unable to take my eyes off of him, until I remember that I was the photographer for the event and suppose to be taking pictures.














I love this man so much. During the whole recital, I kept thinking how did I get so lucky?! Here is a man, who is not only adorably handsome, very witty and intelligent, sensitive, sweet, creative, funny, and lovable... but he is such a talented musician that he is practically a virtuoso?!

Whenever I get too stressed, whenever I feel the dark thoughts, whenever I don't feel like I deserve to eat... he is always what makes it better. Not just he himself- but the fact that he loves me back every bit as much as I love him. I don't see someone like him loving a person who isn't worth his time. His love reminds me that, yes, I may have issues, I may struggle, but these things don't make me any less of a person. He saw, from the very beginning, almost four years ago, the person, not the eating disorder. I'm only just realizing that now- he has always loved me for the person that I am, because there really is a person under the eating disorder- sometimes the eating disorder thoughts just blind me too much to see her.

Mike has helped me grow as a person in more ways than I feel I can thank him for- but I can always love him, unconditionally. And I do. I have struggled a lot over the past four years, but despite the struggles, I can for sure say they've been my happiest years. I've never connected to or loved someone the way I do Mike. He's my very best friend; without his love, I don't know if I would ever truly see the person underneath.


The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.
-George Bernard Shaw